The Drama Triangle is a dynamic model of social interaction and conflict that is used to describe the way that we present ourselves in conflict and the roles we play within conflict. The triangle consists of three main roles: the Victim, the Persecutors, and the Rescuer.
The Victim
The Victim sits comfortably in a "poor me" mentality. They see themselves as helpless, oppressed and powerless. Victim's will look for rescuers in the way that people look for a saviour in crisis. Victims often have difficulties making decisions, solving problems, and derail resilience.
The Persecutor
The Persecutor criticize and blame Victims. They seek to control and find comfort in being authoritative. Persecutors are not known for being flexible or vulnerable.
The Rescuer
The Rescuer loves to help. They love to take care of others and even need to help in order to feel good about themselves. They are co-dependent and enabling. They get caught in a martyr mentality and build resentment.
THE DRAMA TRIANGLE WORKS LIKE THIS
Someone views themselves as a Victim and see life as happening TO them. There s a feeling of powerlessness. Victims like to place blame on the Persecutor. The Victim then looks to the Rescuer to solve their problems for them. The Rescuer acts out of their own needs to be seen as important and while they seem to have the Victim's interests at heart, they are in fact benefiting more than the Victim.
We often see the drama triangle show up in parenting. The child playing the victim, the authoritative parent being cast as the Persecutor, and the alternate parent Rescuing. If we subscribe to these roles consistently, it can create a toxic parenting environment that builds resentment and contempt. There can be more than one Persecutor when a child and parent gang up on the other parent. A parent can move into the Rescuer role by coming to the other parent's aid and reaffirming a choice, therein making the original parent a victim.
HOW WE DO ESCAPE THE DRAMA TRIANGLE
Drama Triangles are where narcissists thrive. Many of the roles we play in life are unconsciously chosen. Identifying the part you play is the first step to breaking the toxic cycle. The drama triangle gets its power from the reality that most will switch between roles and never fully exit the triangle. Victims depend on the Rescuer to save them, Rescuers love to be needs in that way, and Persecutors need a scapegoat.
The Drama Triangle can be escaped by learning to:
-assume responsibility (antidote for the Victim);
-learning to be helpful and supportive without rescuing (antidote for the Rescuer); and
-learning self-accountability (the antidote for the Persecutor).
