Self-Care for Single Parents: Why It Matters and How to Start Small

Single parenthood is not a one-size-fits-all experience. You might be parenting by choice, raising kids while your partner works away, caring for children with a limited “village,” or parenting biological, foster, or adopted kids. Each situation carries its own strengths and challenges. Whether you have one child or several, finding time for self-care can feel nearly impossible.

The daily demands of parenting, household responsibilities, work, and everything in between can leave you running on empty. With so much energy going outward, it’s no wonder many single parents struggle to turn care inward.

Before Self-Care: Address the Guilt

It’s common to feel guilty for putting yourself first when you hold the sole responsibility for your children’s wellbeing. But guilt and shame aren’t healthy motivators, they can make self-care feel selfish. Before making changes, acknowledge and work through those feelings. Forcing self-care without addressing guilt is like trying to carry water in a sieve, it won’t hold.

Self-Care Doesn’t Have to Be Big (or Costly)

You don’t need a spa retreat to take care of yourself. Self-care can be small, free, and woven into your day:

• Grab a treat for yourself while running errands.

• Bring a book or magazine you’ve missed reading instead of scrolling your phone in waiting rooms.

• Choose activities that feel comforting and fulfilling, just for you.

These little moments add up, slowly refilling your own cup.

Protecting Your Time

When the kids are asleep, it’s tempting to catch up on chores or zone out online. But setting aside even one evening a week for something you enjoy (reading, a puzzle, a show that isn’t animated) can boost your mental health. Routines aren’t just for children; they can give parents predictable pockets of rest too.

Reassess Expectations

You are one person, and it’s simply not possible to meet the same standard as a two-parent household. Releasing perfection in areas like home tidiness, yard work, elaborate meals, volunteering, or strict screen-time rules can free up time and reduce stress and creating space for your own needs.

Boundaries Are Self-Care

Healthy boundaries help you breathe easier and reclaim time. They can be set with work, friends, extended family, social commitment, and yes, even with your kids. Start small: visualize yourself saying “no” more often and notice where that could bring relief.

Seek and Accept Help

If it’s within your budget, consider outsourcing some tasks (cleaning, meal kits, snow removal) to free up mental and physical energy. But help doesn’t have to be paid. Look for other forms of support you may not have noticed before: a neighbour who offers to help, a fellow parent willing to trade childcare, community resources.

Build Your Own Village

If your support system feels small, start growing it intentionally. Join local parenting groups, attend community events, or connect with other parents at the park. These connections can become long-term friendships and a reliable network of support.

Remember

You are not alone. You are worth taking care of. You’re a good parent...and your wellbeing matters just as much as your child’s.

Jessica